A Must Read on Beshalach!

I am not tooting my own horn by what I said in the subject line, becuase this dvar torah, like all the rest of the divrei Torah I send out come(s) from others. I found the following idea very insightful and I tried to embellish it a little with some personal reflections.

The Jewish People complain to Moshe shortly after Krias Yam Suf, the Crossing of the Red Sea . They were complaining about the lack of food in the desert. [ As an aside, it is hard to understand why they didn't trust God to provide them with food after seeing the miracle at the sea, but for another time, possibly...] Moshe Hashem} reassures them that soon they will see the greatness of Hashem, and that He will provide you with food. He finishes by saying "and who are we (himself and Aharon) -anyway- that you complain against us?" (16:7)

The Talmud in Chulin 89 comments that Moshe and Aharon showed a greater level of humility than Avraham did. Avraham once told G-d, "and I am but dirt and ashes!" Moshe, on the other hand said "and who are we?" One explaination given is that while Moshe thought of him and his brother as literally nothing, Avraham thought of himself as something, albeit something like dirt.

Rav Rosner quotes Rav Shternbach with a different answer, but first a story about Rav Yonason Eibshitz. Rav Yonoson Eibshitz once went to a certain town for Yom Kippur. He saw a man saying Tefilla Zaka with incredible Kavana, concentration. The man was crying out to Hashem "I have committed so many sins! I must be so lowly in your eyes, etc.! Rav Eibshitz was impressed. The next morning the guy acts the same way; crying out to God, expressing remorse for his actions. Then the guy gets called up for Revi'i, the fourth aliya of the Torah Reading. This was obviously a great honor- the fourth aliya on the holiest day of the year. This guy must be a real tzaddik, a saint. But then something startiling happens. Before the guy recites the blessings, he turns to the Gabbai and asks why he did not recieve the third aliya! [The third Aliya - for reasons unbeknonst to me- is considered the 'greatest' aliya, I believe] Was the fellow who got shlishi more important than he was?! Rav Eibshitz at first was astounded. Could see be the same guy who beforehand had been declaring his unworthiness to God? Where did the humility go? He then thought of an explaination. When the guy was praying, he in effect, comparing himself to God and saying You are infinite and I am so, so finite. I am nothing compared to You. However, when it came time for the public Torah reading, he compared himself to others, and ostensibly thought that he was the holiest Jew in the shul! ( Paranthetically, it is interesting why they did not recognize Rav Eibshitz and give him, the great Talmud Chacham, scholar, the third aliya!) This is obviously the worng attitude to have.

Avraham was speaking directly to God when he declared himself nothingness. While this is noteworthy, it is kind of obvious that every human being in the world pales in comparison to God. Moshe however, was speaking to the people and still expressed his humility and declared himself equal to them. Obviously, Moshe and Aharon were the greatest of the nation and did possess the ability to do something about the food situation (pray to God), and still Moshe did not feel that he was more worthy than anyone else. [I was thinking that maybe Moshe's intentions were that instead of the nation complaining to him, they should pray to God to help them. That is why he 'refused' to intervene on his own by declaring his unworthiness to actually do anything.] Or maybe he did feel that he was more worthy than the rest of the nation. But, at any rate, he did not show it. Sometimes, we cannot help but feel internally that we deserve something over someone else, and maybe we are justified in thinking so. However, we should not reveal this to others.

Maybe this is the meaning of the reinforced language of the mishna in Pireki avos : Be very, very humble". Humblein relation to God and humble in relation to others.

I won't bore you with the details, but recently, in a couple instances, I have been humbled. Programs I thought I would get into- I did not. At first, I was a little upset and felt slighted, but I realized that maybe I am being sent a message that I am not as deserving as I think I am and that things do not always work out as we think they should. And that is ok. (To throw in a sports example, whenever a top-ranked team gets upset by a lower level team, the former is left quite humbled.) Ultimately, God controls everything, anyway.

On the flip side, on other occasions, I do get to 'perform' my religiousity in public, whether it be learning and talking to less affliated kids, or looking really impressive singing the latest tunes, with my friends, in harmony, in a small shul in New Rochelle. I should not feel overly cocky or important, becuase I am simply doing God's work. So when I get up to speak this Friday Night, God willing, in a small shul in Ellenville, New York, I will try not to feel to haughty.

We should all merit to feel a little more humility, especially in relation to our fellow man. Force a smile and a 'congragulations' when someone beats us out for an award, or an aliya.